Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
