I smell stomach acid.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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