Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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