just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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