I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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