that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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