I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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