One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
