All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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