He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize