If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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