i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize