both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
