DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
