i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
