Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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