Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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