It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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