do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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