Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
