Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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