too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
