a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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