have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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