Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
did you just send me my own nude
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize