i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
