We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
