If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Never joke about your clitoris.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
