Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
