ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
