Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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