Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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