i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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