FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
