My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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