Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
