She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
