I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
