it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
