after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
