yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
