she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
