We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
