i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
