We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
