I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
