I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
