I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
