I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
