yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
