I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize