after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
