the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You ruined the universe
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
