We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
