whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
