Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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