Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
