party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
do herpes really smell.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize