he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
