Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize