Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
