his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
