my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize