By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She needs sedatives and a leash
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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