Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Congratulations! We have a period
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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