i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize