Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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