I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize