I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
