Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
