that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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