we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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