What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize