i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
