I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
